Carry On
by JumpieJump
Summary: Well, its been tough and not a very fun few weeks; I haven't been well but here is the product of that. A little angst, romance, and love; just wat everyone needs. BOYXBOY love, WOLFSTAR... first war fic... reviews are love.


Carry On

Sirius Black looked at his new flat, the first thing that struck him was the distinct smell of the Chinese take-away that was underneath. So, it wasn't really in the ideal area but it was near Moony's place; that was the main reason why he had bought it, the idea that they might move to other ends of the country was unthinkable. So Sirius had bought the small, dingy, smelly flat in the middle of Soho, London. He was horribly close to his family and he thought he saw his brother outside his window once, but Regulus had not made his presence known. The flat was not the best but Moony was stopping by with pizza in a minute and, maybe just for a bit, they could escape the world they lived in.

The world had changed from what it once was, it was darker; scarier and more dangerous than ever and Sirius was scared. He would never, _could never, _admit it, not to James at least. He was scared, terrified in fact but what could he do? The war needed soldiers and he would be dammed if he let James and Remus fight it on their own.

What he felt towards Remus, Moony, was something that scared him too; in fact a lot of things scared Sirius Black but he would never tell. He had felt something _more _for Remus since he was fifteen. Sirius had known he was gay, that was not the problem, but this was his best friend and he was not sure that he would react the way Sirius wanted. There had been many a time when Sirius had said to himself that he would tell Remus and so far he had never quite worked up the courage to tell his best friend that he was in love with him.

There was a tap on the door, Sirius went to it and swung it open. He could see that Remus was not impressed.

"You live here?"

"Yes"

"Mate, this is worse than my place" he walked further into the room "Right, no way are you staying here; look there are holes in it" he said, poking his hand through one of the holes in the walls.

"I know, I'll get them fixed"

"Look, until then, come and stay with me"

"Thanks, Moony"

"No problem, you got your stuff?"

"Yeah didn't unpack"

"You knew I would let you move in, didn't you?"

"I guessed"

"Come on then" Remus walked out the room and Sirius followed; bag in hand from where he had left it by the door.

Remus's flat was another thing altogether. It wasn't like Sirius's, it didn't smell of Chinese and it had no holes in the brickwork. The flat was big, not obnoxiously huge, but big enough to house the two of them comfortably. It was painted an off-white colour and was made of a large sitting room and kitchen with two bedrooms leading off from it; the bathroom was in the middle of the bedrooms, connected by doors in both of them. It was sparsely decorated, and had pretty much the bare minimum furniture. Sirius dropped hi bag by the door and sat on the sofa. He scuffed his feet and looked up at Remus.

"Thanks mate, for letting me stay."

"Its only until you get your place fixed up."

"Right, yeah, course." Sirius said, grinning.

Remus went to the fridge and got some beers, he cracked them open on the edge of the counter and handed one to Sirius, who took it. As he sipped on the freezing cold beer he listened to the music that was Soho in the middle of winter. The sirens blared in the midst of the sounds of the bars and restaurants, there was the sound of someone playing the guitar and singing and, though his voice was questionable and no where near as good as Moony's, he wasn't too bad.

"How's the singing going?"

"Shit" said Moony "I can't even get a job in one of the crummy little jazz bars. Nah, I focus more on The Order now"

"Right, then" Sirius looked around "Dumbledore's paying you, isn't he?"

"Yeah, it's a good deal" he said "But, I thought you knew that."

"Just looking for conversation" Sirius sipped his beer.

"How's work?"

"Not too bad, trainings tough but…" he trailed off.

"You're only keeping on with it for James, because he's in hiding and can't do it himself?"

"Yeah, I feel like I owe him and I just want to give him that but… I don't know Moony… it's not me, the routine, the structure… it's too much like school"

"Right, but it pays well"

"Not when you're in training like me, I don't get paid anything. Less than your newspaper job"

"That explains the crummy flat"

"Huh, its not that bad"

"Sirius, that flat is uninhabitable"

Sirius wasn't sure how they got on to the subject; the war had been hanging over them for two years now it was an ever-present cloud. James and lily had gone into hiding with their one year old son last year, when Harry had just been born but now it their situation had gotten desperate. Remus seemed to want to get something out of Sirius and he was well on the way to getting it.

"But, how do you _feel_?" he said, knocking Sirius's knee with his own.

"I dunno…"  
"Sirius" Remus said, looking at him.

And Sirius felt the weight of everything crushing down on him and just everything was throwing itself against him. Pushing his chest down into the deepest recesses of his body. He felt himself crumble and fold in on himself and now felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. Then he felt warm arms encompass him and he felt a hand in his hair and lips on his cheek.

"I- I- I'm scared, Remus. I am terrified and I can't do anything about it. We aren't amazing wizards, not like Dumbledore. We're bloody twenty years old and we're facing up to an enemy that not even he could defeat. What the hell are we going to do?"

"Look, no one ever said that we were and no one can know what will happen but I can tell you that I will be damned if any of us don't make it out this"

"I love you," said Sirius, pressing his lips against Remus's, he felt Remus stiffen and then he felt Remus moan and kiss him back.

"Sirius... if we go here, we can't go back" said Remus, breathing heavily.

"I know" he said, simply. kissing Remus harder.

He ran his tongue against Remus's bottom lip and begged for entrance into the other man's mouth. Remus complied and opened up for him. It seemed that everything was quiet, for a while, letting them have their moment; their time. Things got more heated and soon they were topless and then they were trouser less and then they were on Remus's bed, in their boxers and without quite meaning it Remus was inside him and his world was safe. With Remus he would be ok, with Remus he would make it out of this.

_Fin._

_Thank you, if you got this far, goodness knows you must be strong willed to get through my writing!_

_Remember reviews are love, and if you're nice, I'll give you a topless Sirius and I might just throw in a Remus as well!_

_DFTBA _

_Thank you again._

_Cookies to you all _

_XXXX_

_Jumpie_


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